in the Henhouse
multitalented Jennifer Waronker brings us the first installment
of The Modernist's new feature, Very Short Fiction
fucked her when I was in New York, and so I obviously wish
I’d never gone, even though not every Princess gets
to be a Parade Princess. If you’re Ariel or Jasmine,
you’re sort of out, because everyone wants the classic
girls, the Snow Whites and Cinderellas.
a Cinderella and got Macy’s. She’s a Jasmine and
stayed here. My Prince Charming fucked her on the living room
floor and then in the shower. He washed her breasts with my
loofah. After, she wore my robe, because we’re essentially
the same size.
of us, all the Princesses, are little. Short. I’m 5”1.
She’s something similar. The Princes are taller, powerful-seeming
and imposing. They’re there for the mothers, not the
little girls. Women still stuck on a fantasy of being rescued
and turned into something else by the implied promises of
Prince is just over six feet. When we started working together,
I told him about riding my bike and playing guitar and hiking
through the Everglades, and he said, “You’re different
than the other Princesses.” One night I asked him to
come upstairs to my apartment and he said, “There’s
no Disney shit in here.”
would there be?”
the other Princesses have, like, posters and crap everywhere.”
That should have been a tip-off. All the other Princesses.
more of an outdoors girl, you know? I wasn’t really
into that stuff growing up.”
were you into?”
beer and making out,” and after that night, he was my
boyfriend. You’re required to tell management if you
date a coworker, but everyone encouraged us: Cinderella and
Prince Charming. How cute.
told me about her in the car, driving back from the airport.
I told him about the roses in my hotel room and how cold it
was and how we should look into getting different jobs, ones
using our degrees, and moving to New York because it was amazing,
and he said, “I fucked Jasmine.”
real name is Maria and I think she’s bulimic. She has
a dead tooth and you can see it when she yawns—which
you’re not even supposed to do when you’re in
character. She’s definitely not cut out to be a top
Princess, or even a Belle or an Aurora, and I’m not
saying that because she isn’t white. We’re just
different types of girls: I’m a Cinderella, and she’s
told Prince Charming to get out of our apartment, and I got
boxes from the garage and then locked myself in the bathroom
until his things were packed and he was gone. I called work.
I told them that New York was great, and I’d really
like to travel more, because my Prince fucked another Princess
and I think that if I have to work in the park around those
two, Cinderella will probably punch Jasmine in the face.
is an honorary member of the Albert Hoffman Junior CyclistLeague.
this interview in The Modernist's forums.