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Jim
Milak
Easy
Sex the Hard Way
He didn’t
have any old friends or ex-girlfriends that would
have been receptive to a drunk married guy banging
on her door at 4 A.M. with bad breath and an enormous
erection poking out of his jeans. The only recourse
was professional help.
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John
Dugan
My
Terrorist Romance
I needed to latch
on to something from further a field to get some
attention from this young lady. Or at least, this
is what I thought.
The Red Brigades. They were in the news, they
were rebels in a sense, and they were Italians.
What’s not to love? Rebels for me meant the
Green Mountain Boys, Luke, Leia, Chewy and Hahn,
Jesus Christ, Fonzie… probably even John
Lennon
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Edgar
Barrington
A Message to You
Subcultures are
great. You gotta get tattoos while you're still
sure you'll like whatever you're into right now
for the rest of your life. That 40 year old goth
guy who still comes to all the parties? He's cool
right? He sure didn't sell out.
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Mike
Toe
Restaurant
Criticism: Bob Chinn’s Crab House
In spite of this horrible, abominable, meal, I was
thrilled by and enamored of a new dress code that
officially transforms Bob Chinn’s into “Hooters
for Homos Who Have a Mexican Daddy Fixation.” |
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Kiki
Mercury
The
Modernist Gift Guide
All I propose is when you decide to “give,”
think about it from the “getting” point
of view (like, as in, um, sex and stuff.) I don’t
want the incidental, I don’t want what’s
easy, I don’t want a nicely wrapped “whatever,”
I don’t want your metaphoric STD. If the
shit deserves wrapping, the shit deserves thinking.
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Matthew
Shultz
Animals
in Pornography
Naked women are
in girlie magazines so that men can imagine themselves
bedding them. But my man, you can not have sex
with this woman, naked though she is. There is
a snake on her
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