Jim Milak
•Easy Sex the Hard Way

Kiki Mercury
•The Modernist Gift Guide
•Iranica/Opposite Day in Iran

Matthew Shultz
•Animals in Pornography

Edgar Barrington
•A Message to You
•Japanese Hangover

Mike Toe
•Bob Chinn's Crab House
•Stream of Bowling Conscious Wood
•My Young Coconut Juice

John Dugan
•My Terrorist Romance
•Politics in Your Coffee

 

 

 

Jim Milak
Easy Sex the Hard Way

He didn’t have any old friends or ex-girlfriends that would have been receptive to a drunk married guy banging on her door at 4 A.M. with bad breath and an enormous erection poking out of his jeans. The only recourse was professional help.

   
     

John Dugan
My Terrorist Romance

I needed to latch on to something from further a field to get some attention from this young lady. Or at least, this is what I thought.
The Red Brigades. They were in the news, they were rebels in a sense, and they were Italians. What’s not to love? Rebels for me meant the Green Mountain Boys, Luke, Leia, Chewy and Hahn, Jesus Christ, Fonzie… probably even John Lennon

   
     

Edgar Barrington
A Message to You

Subcultures are great. You gotta get tattoos while you're still sure you'll like whatever you're into right now for the rest of your life. That 40 year old goth guy who still comes to all the parties? He's cool right? He sure didn't sell out.

   
     

 

Mike Toe
Restaurant Criticism: Bob Chinn’s Crab House

In spite of this horrible, abominable, meal, I was thrilled by and enamored of a new dress code that officially transforms Bob Chinn’s into “Hooters for Homos Who Have a Mexican Daddy Fixation.”
   
     

Kiki
Mercury
The Modernist Gift Guide

All I propose is when you decide to “give,” think about it from the “getting” point of view (like, as in, um, sex and stuff.) I don’t want the incidental, I don’t want what’s easy, I don’t want a nicely wrapped “whatever,” I don’t want your metaphoric STD. If the shit deserves wrapping, the shit deserves thinking.

 

   
     

 

Matthew Shultz
Animals in Pornography

Naked women are in girlie magazines so that men can imagine themselves bedding them. But my man, you can not have sex with this woman, naked though she is. There is a snake on her

   
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

 

 

 

 



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